Date: 04/09/2010 19:19:07
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Forum Question |
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| Testimonies of Saints |
Do enjoy reading the
sharing below.
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Testimony of Zoe Siow (FTTL 4th Term) |
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Posted By Eugene Ch'ng |
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Posted on: 27/12/2005 02:22:26 |
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1Thes. 5:23: 'And the God of peace Himself sanctify you wholly, and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.' Amen.
Hi all, praise the Lord!
First of all, this is my new email address. I'm still using the previous ones but I feel that I should have a new one just for the fellowship and sharing with the saints. So here I am, I would like to share a bit of my experience of the Lord in 2005.
As most of you know that I'm in the Full-Time Training in London, started from autumn 2004, and hoping to be graduated by May 2006. This Training is really amazing, for those who have went through would know. This yr is very special, because the Lord is so intensify in His work in me. I think this is because I've been praying for the Lord to work Himself more into me almost everyday, and He is faithful to answer my prayers. I was in my 2nd and 3rd term, I thank the Lord for His mercy and grace, He brought me through. Because I really had gain the Lord more in this 2 terms. Some trainees say the 1st term is like incarnation, the 2nd is like crucifixion, then 3rd term is like resurrection, and ascension in 4th term. When I was in my 2nd term, I really feel like being crucified, I considered it was 'my crucifixion' in the Training, and I was desperately hoping to get into my 3rd term so that I would be 'resurrected'. Now, I have went through my 3rd term, I feel that my 3rd term was very different from the other trainees. It wasn't resurrection. I was disappointed. When I was there, I keep telling the Lord that I just want to enjoy You in this term, yet everyday, it was always something happened. There're so many things happening to me everyday, it seems like the Lord is not letting me go. I wanted to leave the Training, I wanted to go, I wanted to escape from the Training, I shouted to the Lord, but I know I can only stay. Then I start to realise that: the resurrection is in us. I can enjoy Him as my resurrection everyday. I don't have to wait. I've been so superstitious. My sister (some of you know her) told me: never compare with other trainee, we all have our own training. My concept has veiled me from enjoying the Lord. I don't want to wait for resurrection and ascension to come next term, because all these are in me. 'I do not nullify the grace of God; for if righteousness is through law, then Christ has died for nothing.' - Gal. 2:21. I know that everyday, everything, whether big or small, is all arranged by His hand. He truly knows all my weaknesses, how stiff my neck was, and my pride. I truly love my self more than the Lord and the saints. I truly just care for myself more than the sisters. I truly am just wanted to hear 'sorry' from those who had offended me, and hardly apologise to those whom I have offended. I am truly a legalistic person. I am truly not open to have fellowship with others. I just like to blame others. I just love my faces. I just care for my thinking. I am afraid of His exposes. I always self-pity, I always wanted to enjoy my soul-life. I am afraid of the cross. Everything is just the big 'I'. Yet the Lord is still merciful and patient. He waited and waited and waited, until I start to realise that only He can do it. He is everything, and He'll still be my everything. Nothing can stop Him. He is, He was, and He is coming. Now I know that this Great I Am is really living and operating within me. Whether or not, I'll be graduating next term, is not in my hand. He can dismiss me anytime. I don't want to depend on my own natural strength, ability, and love any longer. All these will pass away. I am mortal. I am weak. My heart is changable. My eyes, aim, goal are not focusing on Him. I don't know what to give, I have none. Only Christ is my offerings. I need Him and His Body. I don't know if I would be His overcomer, it does not depend on me. Maybe I would be defeated, but I know He will still gain His bride, and the enemy will still go to the Lake of Fire. I just need to pray: 'Lord, keep me. Set me as a seal on Your heart, as a seal on Your arm. Your love is as strong as death, jealousy is as cruel as Sheol. Perfect me to be Your bride, to shame Your enemy, and glorify Yourself. Make me Your overcomer.' I just want to redeem my time, I just want to keep running, I just want to love the saints more, and care for them, cherish and nourish them. I want to shepherd the saints. I want to give all my time on Christ and the Church. I don't want to look back. Everyday is a new day. I want to be ready everyday, because I don't have tomorrow. May the Lord draw each one of us, gain us more each day.
Please don't forward this email or print it out to anyone, because I have sent to those whom I wanted to share. For the saints in Birmingham UK, you may post this on the Church in Birmingham website's testimony. Praise the Lord, I pray that in the coming yr, not one day would be wasted, but I would waste myself on Him everyday. I want to finish reading the Bible. I need Your grace, Lord. Amen.
Your sister in Christ,
Zoe Siow (FTTL, UK)
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